More on Selfishness - a comment on my last post

A very wise man pointed out to me today that he wasn't sure that the term "selfish" was rightly fitting here. I do understand why. Perhaps the terms guarded, or on the defensive, or maybe just more conscious of my own needs, would all be a more accurate description, although I'm not entirely sure they really describe what I meant. I think the fact that I chose the term "selfish" only illustrates further the point I was trying to make in my last post. That point is that to someone who has been in co-dependent (in its original and intended meaning), being conscious of my own needs, at times, feels selfish. The term I think comes with a little too much condemnation; however, before I realized WHY I was reacting in certain ways in my current relationship, I did feel a bit of condemnation. There was a bit of the question "why am I being so selfish?". Once I realized why I was reacting that way, the condemnation lifted, and I was able to get a clear picture about what was going on. I no longer worried that something could be wrong with me - or that maybe all those years I really was a selfish person....I came to an understanding that I had been reacting in a completely logical way, considering my past circumstances. It was just another layer of the onion peeled away. As I continue to grow and learn, I love these moments when God peels away yet another layer of hardness from my heart. The effects of our sinful world are all over us and in us, and I just love the process of God peeling the world off of me; stripping me down. Sometimes that process is difficult, but at the same time, with each layer peeled away, I feel a thousand pounds is lifted from my shoulders. Now I am getting into an entirely new topic/post here but thought I'd share some more on this last post....on this last layer....before I move onto the next :-)